Epilogue

"It is always something that happens to someone else". Don't you believe it.

Luckily for me I have always been well-read, from the time I went deaf at age 10 until the present, I read everything I could get my hands on including "Death and Dying". 'Losing a spouse cannot be compared with other family deaths, such as those of your parents or a cherished child. My blog here was intended for The Death Of A Spouse and no other. I write only what I know.

Joe and I had always met a certain need for one another. 'Like a couple of sheep-herding shepherd dogs. He went left and I went right and when it was over we met and compared notes. He had chores that he enjoyed (and I did what was left over, which as a mother of 5 children, I was used to). We both inherited love of the land and for quite a few years we put our whole lives into our mini-farm the fresh, home grown broccoli and string beans and fresh rhubarb pie. Our beach home was more like a place where you can throw your hat on the floor and relax and where we could enjoy the terrific sunsets and stroll hand in hand along the "Prom" which is the Western version of a "Boardwalk". We could be "residents" one minute and then walk 4 blocks to town and enter the vacation zone. We had a Timeshare on Maui where we spent Feb 8th to March 8th each year. We would leave during the winter and arrive home to Spring! (If Mother Nature cooperated).
That was then, this is now.

Our Funny Farm will shortly be up for sale. My ASL interpreter is also a liscensed Realtor in both Oregon and Washington and she and I are putting our heads together. The Corvettes and other vehicles will be sold on consignment by a local dealer. BG the BarnCat has been adopted by me and is happy here and runs in and out the top floor by climbing up and down a crooked pine tree. (I won't mention the baby skunk she brought into the house awhile back).

It has been almost 3 months now and I have made good progress. Joe and I had a very special love, a very unique relationship and our love will last me for the rest of my life. I can feel him around me, helping to make decisions and comforting me when I become frustrated with "too many things to do".

I am far enough away from my grown children that they do not feel obligated to drop in on "poor mom" to see how she is doing. Almost all of that is being done via IM, Blackberry or emails. When I need them they will be here pronto, and that includes my adult grandchildren. "Just let me know when you need me". My oldest grandson recently put up a curbside mailbox for me, so now I can get Snail Mail here at the beach house. My grand daughter, who is the mother of my 2 great-grandsons, recently showed up with her mother and cleaned my whole house.

I have no reason to worry about the immediate future. There are no money worries. I am in reasonably good health for my age and can still spend a whole day working in the yard, before I collapse on my Tempur Pedic.

I feel blessed because I have known the love of a good man, live in one of the most beautiful parts of the world, and am well able to take care of myself.

Lantana, August 24, 2008