The Death Of A Spouse

(Part 3) Luckily for me I had chosen the right funeral home. While still in the hospital with Joe and being quizzed by the nurses and Social Worker, (when I replied to give me the Mortuary that had been in business here the longest), I sensed good vibes from my choice. 'Having sharp senses is one of the greater benefits of being deaf!
In the past, Joe and I had attended church together only once and that was in Victoria, BC on Christmas Eve. Joe and I are/were staunch believers, but we chose to honor our Creator in our own way. Joe had been through AA many years before I met him and he was successful because he believed in his Higher Being. I had never, ever seen my husband, Joe take a drink. And I had known him for almost 30 years. He was one of the 100% successfully recovered alcoholics.
The mortuary owner was very understanding and there was *no argument* as to a Service. I explained that I chose to have a Celebration of Life a little later when the entire family could get together comfortably and not under duress.
Mortuary businesses can be very helpful if you stand firm and show that you are not interested in the glamour and the nitty gritty of impressing your friends. First, last and always, depend on what YOUR SPOUSE would want, not what YOU choose and forget "what people might think".
This is very useful information that I received from the Director:
CALL THE SOCIAL SECURITY ADMINISTRATION. They will make an appointment for you pronto.
Contact Veterans' Administration if approriate for your situation.
Change the deed on your property and remove the deceased's name from that deed. This is done at the county seat where the property is located. Take a certified Death Certificate with you.
Change the titles and registration of your vehicles. This is done at the Division of Motor Vehicles. Again, you will need a death certificate.
(Me again). You will need a certified Marriage Certificate. Not that cute piece of paper that you both signed at the wedding with stars in your eyes. You will have to contact Vital Statistics in your state. Google it up.
If you have credit cards, outstanding debts, etc. etc. contact the appropriate companies at once. There are life insurance policies with some credit cards.
In my own case, the funeral directory notified all of the local newspapers and submitted a picture of Joe at no charge. In our hometown where we both grew up, I submitted everything online at a cost of $263.00. I wrote all of the obits myself. No one knew my husband like I did!
In the next chapter I will explain how I coped with all of the paperwork.
(To be continued)