The Death Of A Spouse

(Part 4) My personal idea of "filing" is to leave it on top of my desk until I remember to pay it. Luckily for me, most debts these days are paid Online. Joe did not trust "them" and still paid his bills the old fashioned way, and he paid them the same day they arrived! Somehow during our marriage we fell into a comfortable style where he paid what he was comfortable with (in regard to household expenses) and I paid the rest. I bought all of the groceries, he paid all of the property taxes. We rarely discussed money, there was always enough and neither one of us ever exclaimed, "Turn out some of these lights, this is costing me money!" We just didn't need to worry about those things.
Joe was very fond of 100 bills. Regularly, I found one waiting for me on the kitchen counter just before a shopping trip, or a holiday to visit my kids. After Joe died, I found 100 dollar bills here and there that he had left for me, each one neatly sealed in a crisp white envelope. But THEN there were two of us, suddenly and without warning there was only ONE. ME!
The utilities, the usual household expenses, car licenses, etc. I could deal with. (Before I had married Joe, I had been single for 25 years). But the constant barrage of paperwork due to Joe's death expenses, bank accounts, mysterious letters with words that never quite made sense, was making my teeth chatter. Luckily I have a son who is a CPA with a degree in Business Administration. 'Occasionally even he was stumped! I went to the Paper Factory and purchased a nice, cheerful cardboard box, covered that was imprinted with flowers and that had a little bow on top. It opened and shut as if it was on hinges. Then I set up the card table in our bedroom and that became my "business office for the moment". Everything that delt with Joe's death went into the flowered box, separate from anything else. My other everyday expenses were delt with SEPARATELY. And on a real desk!
I am happy to report that the card table is now neatly tucked away in the closet where it came from. "The Box" has a new location in our bedroom under my watchful eyes, where it can be updated easily as new surprises arrive. In there is our Official Marriage Liscense From The State Capitol. I keep the death certificates in there (I bought 6), along with our Wills and the expenses that occurred upon Joe's death. It is a bright, uplifting recepticle that I frequently glance through to make sure I have not missed anything.
It seemed to me that everywhere I went I had to show a death certificate. So I cracked wise and began carrying a clipboard (a bright blue CHEERFUL ONE) with all the important stuff attached to that. I never go anywhere without my car, so suddenly I had a rolling business office!
Death is expensive, but only if you allow it to be that way.
(Next, The Memorial Service)
To be continued