The Death Of A Spouse

(I took some time off to drive up to the Hood Canal and attend a 100th birthday celebration of my former childhood housemother. Yes, she turned 100, and I turned 75 on the same weekend!)

(Part 6) Soon after we moved to the Coast, some 17 years ago we met a new friend. Actually, he worked in our yard and did the heavy stuff for us, and it was a long time before we actually found out that he was an ordained minister! He has always gone by the handle of "Dr. Dan" and at the time, little did we know that the "Doctor" meant "Doctor Of Theology"! He was also the son of a minister. Many years later, as I sat in the hospital holding hands with my deceased husband, I thought of Dr. Dan in a warm and comforting way and asked the hospital to call him at the same time they contacted my family. Thankyou God for sending me Doctor Dan!

Dr. Dan and I together planned Joe's Celebration of Life. We prayed together and it was after this visit from our old friend that I was able to carry on and do the planning and creating that had to be done. To help Dan a little, I loaned him Joe's senior high school yearbook with all of the traditional scribblings, and from this, Dan was able to build in his mind, a complete Joe. Miraculously, everything fell into place without any problems.

We held the Memorial Ceremony at Joe's and my beloved Funny Farm, CREEKSIDE. Many of the family came in their R.V.'s and stayed the entire weekend. The day before, Joe's 17 year old grandson came and mowed the lawn. Dr. Dan showed up on schedule and wandered among the crowd, being introduced and getting a feel of the group. He was casually dressed as we all were, but Dr. Dan stood out because he had a tie on with a picture of Jesus on it.

Joe's Kubota was sitting proudly in the long driveway. Joe had very few family left, only some cousins and the grandson. One cousin and his wife were able to attend after driving a long distance. My own family did Joe proud, they were all there, all of my children, my 2 brothers and their wives, my neices and newphews, and a neighbor who helped Joe build The Barn. My two great-grandsons made themselves known, even my daughter's 2 Aussie Shepherds layed at Dr. Dan's feet. Lenny the Parrot was on my shoulder. And a very important part of the ceremony was Clyde, who grew up with Joe and who remained in touch right up until the time of Joe's death.

The ceremony was beautiful and my daughter, JanMarie interpreted Dan's wonderous and loving words to me. He had received approriate vibes while working the crowd earlier and everyone felt comfortable with his sermon, everyone loved him, no one felt uneasy or out of place. Each person there, if they wished, got to speak up.

Clyde and I sprinkled Joe's ashes along the bank of the creek among the hundreds of Willow trees that Joe had single handedly and lovingly planted each Spring. Dan led everyone (except me) in singing Amazing Grace. I felt a certain peace in knowing that I had planned a loving and unique tribute to my beloved Joe.

It was an elegant send off. The nicest one I have ever attended.

Afterwords there was a huge potluck held in Joe's workshop, among his saws and his precious farm equipment. The salads sat on his table saw. There were yummy dishes sitting behind his grinder. His numerous hammers stood at attention.

Next: Epilogue