It has been interesting reading about other deafie's "takes" on the hearing population who find themselves dealing with a deafie or deafies. I would like to comment on the subject.
We had a social worker at school, who signed pretty well, was reasonably well liked and obviously loved her job. However, I was always very uncomfortable around this woman and found myself cringing when she dropped by my office. Finally I figured out why! She ALWAYS stood in the doorway with one foot out the door like she couldn't wait to get away! She actually talked to us sideways! I finally talked to her privately and told her of my concerns. Sure enough after that, she gave us her full attention and I enjoyed her visits more!
Some demeanors that I dislike in hearing people are: Those who go around with a PERPETUAL SMILE. No facial expression, no sadness, no glee, no nothing. Just a huge blank smile! It is very difficult to read a person's lips when all you can see is teeth! ' Hearing people, while they are talking to you, their eyes dart around the room quickly, never actually landing on your face, anywhere BUT your face! I once had a hearing co worker who's eyes constantly "dropped down" and I am sure the deaf men thought that their fly was open! We deafies need strong eye contact! Oh, and there is the old "Oh, never mind!" That one really tee's me off and I have come right out and told people that it is very rude! One lady even agreed with me! Another thing (that CODAS are usually guilty of) is speaking with their chin way up so you can see the roof of their mouths! One interpreter I had was very guilty of this and I was fascinated with the color of the roof of her false teeth!
There are many, many more. Perhaps I will leave it to others to contribute their pet peeves about hearies?
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Heh - Since I've started signing three years ago, I have noticed those little 'hearing quirks' myself.
ReplyDeleteI'm a hearing person, can't deny it, though I am more comfortable in the deaf community.
That blank smile you were talking about... oh how that irritates! It's like talking to a bobble head doll!
I must admit though that I have a slight problem when it comes to eye contact. For the most part, I'm pretty good at maintaining it (I've actually scared a couple hearing people because of it), especially when I'm in a conversation, but when I get a little nervous and start thinking my signing is bad, I flick my eyes to the side a little too much. It's a habit I will break .
But I was curious what your take might be on that? I know too much up and down eye movment out of context is bad, but is the side ways glancing very horrible?
Ha, ha. Be comfortable! Do like you would with a speech presentation and think it out beforehand. When you get nervous, hold your hand out (like stop!) and wait until you get your bearings. Pick your "audience" carefully, not all of us have the patience it takes. Trust me. In a social setting, prefer to "roam" and you will be sure to find a deafie that will meet your needs. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWhen my family attended the annual Pinewood Derby (homemade car race) at the church when my boys were growing up, the hearing then elementary school principal kept avoiding me and wasn't friendly to me. The other guy said that people thought deaf was a disease. Thats absurd!
ReplyDeleteInteresting. Appropriate eye contact varies so much from culture to culture.
ReplyDeleteI found this on the Internet while looking around for information about what is appropriate:
http://members.aol.com/nonverbal3/eyecon.htm
And this quote:
"The best advice is to make short frequent glances in social situations. Making eye contact for too long a duration can be seen as threatening; the subtext of interest becomes distorted.
Failing to look at others causes suspicion as they wonder what signals are being masked."
http://www.bremercommunications.com/Eye_Contact.htm
Others:
http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Use-Eye-Contact-to-Make-a-Good-Impression&id=36122
Interesting to hear a deaf perspective.
In street gangs, strong eye contact is thought of as a challenge.
ReplyDeleteI refuse to chat with a hearing person who's eyes dart around the room like they cannot wait to escape. Regardless of what country you come from, if you are deaf, you want eye contact, period.
Another "quirk" is the tendency of deafies to walk in single file. I catch myself doing it all the time when we are in public, I walk BEHIND my husband, never beside him! The students at school used to do the same thing.
Anyone ever research this?
>Grin<
Lantana